Suicide - I really don’t want to talk about this. Not now.by Harvey Braunstein I am writing this now because my next door neighbor of many years, Bob, took his life yesterday. For the past 10 years, he had not been my next door neighbor. His lovely wife, Patty retained the house in a separation and then a divorce. Bob moved up about 40 miles to northwestern Connecticut. Which
is where he killed himself – in the house where he was living with a woman who came to not appreciate him. If this were my first brush with suicide, I would not bother you all. However, over the past 10 years, three of my fellow congregants at the Westchester Jewish Center, Mamaroneck, NY have committed suicide. They have knowingly and willingly taken their own lives. Don was the first of these three. The night before our daughter, Janet, was to be bat-mitzvahed, we received a call from his wife, Roberta, saying that they couldn’t come because Don was missing. They found him in a motel room in New Jersey, a survivor of a drug overdose; a failed
attempt to exit this world with much less than grace. Had he succeeded, he would have left his wife with a teen-aged daughter and two twin younger daughters. Three years later, after hospitalization, a divorce and a move to California to live near his brother, Don succeeded. He was in his mid-sixties. His wife had a lot of patient explaining to do with the kids. Five years ago, the son of good friends of ours, Arthur, after months of refusing to take his medication, was found in his apartment hanging from the shower curtain. Or lying over his bed. The details are shrouded in time. Arthur was exceedingly bright and worked in a high-profile position,
which he felt needed his maximum mental alertness. And this would have been severely dulled by prescription medication. Arthur was 27-28. Earlier this year, a brilliant endocrinologist, Mona, parked her car near Pelham Bay in the Bronx, walked into the ocean and never came out. She left a husband and children. I am told that her associates never knew or realized the demons she was fighting. Two years ago, one of my clients, himself Jewish, told me that he had been trained in suicide Intervention and wanted to work with synagogues, among other groups, to teach how to recognize a potential suicidal individual and notify a professional. And for those who wanted to learn,
to be able to intervene. The course could be taught on both a higher (extensive) level and on a lesser one (several hours only) as well. And an overview PowerPoint presentation could be done within a Sunday Brunch framework as well. I notified my rabbi. For several “reasons” this was tabled. Finally this spring, I arranged for Josh to make a brief presentation. Rabbi had agreed. The outcome of the presentation was, “Yes, we should do this.” “But first, I need to know what other synagogues in the (general wider) area have done with this.” The discovered reality was that nobody had; and a scheduled May presentation which would have included returning college students, never
happened. This aspect of synagogue & congregational life is currently tabled. And the future will be what it will be. Suicide is apparently something that we wish wouldn’t happen to Jews. So let’s not talk about it. The “age bracket most likely to….” is 15-30. But we see it at age 12 – and statistically frequently enough to be able to document. Teen and pre-teen pressures are real and have real consequences. Is synagogue just a place to pray and to send our children to Hebrew School, so that they can study, learn how to pray in Hebrew and prepare for their Bar/Bat Mitzvah? Is adult education confined to Torah Study, Hebrew
Literacy, Israel and the like? Is the phrase, “Insular Jewish Community” a redundancy? Is the FJMC more comfortable with programs that revolve around tefilin and candles, than a recognition of a disease that takes our children and their parents, just as it takes the lives of their non-Jewish peers?
Imagine Life Initiative“Imagine Life” Before it is Too LateA Mental Wellness Initiative by The Foundation for Jewish Life and the
FJMC. Summary Overview - December 16, 2019by Gary Smith Because of the unrelenting social problem in America of Mental Illness and its companion addictions, the FJMC Foundation for Jewish Life and FJMC are partnering to find ways to help tackle this problem through Education, Prevention, and Creation of Awareness. We are reaching out with specific initiatives for parents, preschoolers, elementary schoolers, and teenagers. It is our hope that by creating innovative programming we can make a difference in
the future of the lives of young families in our communities. The FJMC Foundation for Jewish Life and FJMC have made it a priority to help destigmatize mental illness and addictions in our synagogues and Jewish communities. |